SCREAM LIKE A GIRL

Roller coaster…. The most amazing ride that I have ever counter, after 23 years old living in this world that is the first time I riding it. It is an amazing ride that everyone should try but there are some circumstances. Let’s start from the beginning shall we.
I got an invitation from my sister who is a teacher to follow her school trip to GENTING HIGHLAND….. I said to myself why waste it’s free and I don’t need to pay at all. It is quite an embarrassing moment, alone and surrounded by school kids (primary school). Who cares right? I played the spinning cup…hehee…that’s for my warm up…before my grand event. After the spinning cup I played the pirate ship (its is scary not for those who’s having heart attack), flaying elephant (totally for children below 10), space shoot (I left my stomach below) and the grand finally of my ride for that day ‘double spin roller coaster’……….When it started to move I said to myself “this will be nothing” smiling… that smile of arrogant has being wipe out and changed by the screaming of a girl “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”…….until the ride finished.

I Am Furious

There is a thing that always making my head exploded. I hated when there’s someone that always pushing me around, to do something I will certainly does. I am a patient person but who can handle things like that. Everyday I need to handle every little detail, hate to be good to others that never care for your feeling. That’s why I just like to keep quiet probably for that attitude of silence people ignore, me ignore my feeling.
Every single day I had to put up with this problem, wakeup being cautious afraid to hurt others feeling who is to easy to be break. It is all ABOUT THEM, I got lot a problem to but I never let it out to my friend. Not for a certain individual what we can call it, yes a show off. If is for something good its fine by me but why every time its me who are being treated bad is like I’m the accuse and not the victim.
Being accuse for something that I have never done is part of my life and probably it will never end. My family is not a wealthy one, but we earn good living. But human can never satisfied of what he got always want more and more. As a child average little child that like to make friend with others are miss treated by their parent accusing me of all the bad thing, why? just because I make friend with their kids.

Examples:

Anonymous: Hello….

Somebody: hello……. (Somebody replied)

What is this? Boringgggg………..This is the examples of first time chatters. Quite and introduction right, for me that’s the greatest achievement you have done. It is not easy for someone to replied back at you, who knows maybe a serial killer is going after you….scary………hehee.

Emmmmmm…..ok ill started with my big brother….why? Well he is the pioneer of my first introduction to chatting (don’t tech your sibling, you know what I mean). The most popular chatting at that particular moment is IRC and also…….I forgot. I send a message to somebody (cannot mention it is classified, for my own safety) and that somebody replied “eloooooo”….”Thank you god for giving me this opportunity” I said to myself. Only god knows how I feel at that moment. I don’t know what I write neither that somebody, a lot of topic being raised about age, gender, names, country, hobbies, and some ‘stuff’ I don’t want to mention here. What make our conversation interesting, all the thing that I being telling that somebody is just lies…….hehe……who wants to give any of that. Internet can be an allusive and seductive tools right? So be careful of what you are displaying, it can be use against you and not for a good reason indeed. Back to my story, I quit IRC and entered yahoo chatting site that is YM stand for yahoo messenger, more fun and much more interesting than IRC. I meet with a chatter, forgot the name he or she (still don’t want to mention it, ill be dead if I’m mention it here) originated from Indonesian…… wauuuu……….a stranger from no were pop up in my YM. For the first time I use a dictionary just to chat, it is not an ordinary dictionary its ‘Indonesian to Bahasa Melayu’ why? I don’t understand what the person is trying to says, not a single word. Now, no more chatting to busy I got lot of commitment (you know why).

my first crush

YOU READ YOU CRY (JANGAN BACE NANTI NANGIS SEDIH OO)

“Twinkle-twinkle little stars how are you wonders what you are” sound familiar rights, my heart shattered in pieces just hear the voices. The smile, those glassy eyes, every word spoken melted my heart. Days feel like thousand of years waiting for her. All that she does concern me a lot, I can’t take my eye of her not for a minute. Everyday is like a challenge for me to approach her, to talk to her, to express my feeling to open up my heart tell her everything that has being keep in here rusty blown by the win of sorrow. She’s to perfect for me that’s why I never had the guts to approach her. Like always I watch her from afar. Days become month turn to years still my mouth don’t have the desire and the guts like my mind want me to. My world are just too different from her, the boundary are just too wide. The more I want to get to her the more I’m being push away by the cruelty of status and pride. I know who I’m, I realize where my place at, her place are just too different from me. Often sees her surround by stranger, others that are more worthy than me. Voices whispered to me telling me to give-up, look onto the mirror “is this the man that she’s really want to be with, to share all her joy and pain” no………not me……….That’s it!!! Enough is enough! I can’t take anymore of this….right, what is the first thing I need to do, yes ask her phone number. Wait then how am I going to call her, I don’t have a phone or public phone……sad I feel inside (Yoda from star wars). I lost my will and my hope to make her my, maybe she was made for others, other than me. I need to seek new life; new force of energy, the one that can help, that will always be with me and the one that always share my pain……. Now ten years have past, still my feeling toward her can never be change; you will always be my first crush, the one that I adore so much my dear…. Kindergarten…. teacher………….. :p “THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE”

“This is a true spoken word inspired by a true story”.

P/s: aa about the teacher she’s married now. Her husband is not really good looking compare to me…heehe.

“If I’m out of time and I could pick one day, one moment and keep it new, of all the days I have lived I would pick the day I meet you”. ~@NDENGX2~

All about birthday present give and given..

MOSHI-MOSHI (my friend said it is a Japanese language for hello)

I think I spell it right. I have a question for my self.

What is the best birthday present you received? What is the best one you gave?

Emmm…I think the best present I have ever got is my wife heehee not I’m just kidding it is not official yet. I seldom celebrate my birthday so it’s hard for me to get any present, but that doesn’t mean I never got any right. I got my life back I think that the best present I ever got. Why? Let just says I meet someone. That somebody really help me a lot. So that’s the best present. About my birthday present I got a t-shirt. Want to know something that is the first present I ever got after living in this world for about 23 years (I mean my birthday present) I really appreciate that give that really mean a lot to me why? Because it is a t-shirt you know what I mean a t-shirt. Well it is a nice the cloth feet I nice and it is so comfortable (emmmm….want to know something I am wearing the t shirt it is really nice I don’t bluff). Enough with the present now we continue with the next topic the question is….

Have “you” aka I give the best present to others?

Thank you friend, jury, parent and all that is listening now or reading this now.Emmm…. let me think first, I think the best present I have ever give is a diamond ring, expensive is it? Heheheee not, I can’t afford that; it is too much for me. For a special person you got to give a special gift right. What is important the most it is affordable. I give to some one that is special to me a simple give something that can win that person heart. A ring, not gold, nor diamond (this just too much for me) just a plain silver. And from the person reaction I know that the person really like it a lot, the appreciation and reaction the person give really make me burst the tears of joy (I still crying huhuhu) . Here are some tips from me if you give something to somebody no matter what’s the present is he or she that appreciate it a lot, mean that person is really care about you a lot.

YESTERDAY

Beatles
Yesterday

Yesterday, all my trouble seemed to far away
Now- it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I´m not half the man I use to be
There´s a shadow hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly-

Why she had to go I don´t Know she wouldn´t say
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday-

Why she had to go I don´t Know she wouldn´t say
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday

Simple chord and easy to learn, I started playing guitar after I listen to this music. It’s not a sentimental or mellow type of music but I become fond of it, believed me I’m not really onto that kind of music. Listening to that music for the first time has made me change all my entire view and perspective to music, why? Well... let just say that music and I has something going one. How often in your life you being misjudge or being misplace always felt neglected, once I had I always had that feeling. The question is why music got to do with all this. Simple, music is my way of dealing with all the problems (is not like I don’t have other ways this is one of them so, don’t get carried away). Let’s go back to the beginning, emmmm…where to start, guitar learning phase probably a good intro. My friend who also is my teacher really teach me a lot, I mean playing the guitar. He really amazed me when he played the song (yesterday), the funny thing is, after two years living with him I never knew that he can played guitar, one thing that I and most of friend know he is not a good singer, out of tune that’s the word. Enough about him lets continue. He gave me four simple chords, no it’s seven, I think? It’s F G A B it’s on the higher note of E for the strings 6th fret above. I said to him it is hard for me to remembered it, then he give simple way to remember he called it the Word of Wisdom. It sounds a little bit like this F***** GIRLS ARE B****** (TO EXPLICIT ITS NOT IN MY MANOR TO USE SUCH SARCASTIC LANGUAGE I APOLOGISE IF I EVER OFTENDED ANYONE THAT IS READING THIS MATERIALS) what!!!!! That’s the word, he just laugh “want to use it or not” he said, I smile and said “ok”. (I am just a naïve little boy at that period of time trust me). It takes me a while before I can master all the chord...One thing for sure, its sure is hard, very hard I tell you, so anyone out there who’s trying to learn better quit now then never but if you still resist I give you my big support play hard stays cool until your finger worn out. I bleed myself when one of the strings snap and bounce back at my hand. It cuts really deep. I stop playing for a week. What, is just a scratch that won’t stop you either, right? So I played until my fingers get very hard (I lost my senses) days and night I continuously played the song until I get very got at it. Then the bitter part of my life struck me, I got kick out from college, my loan was then cut. I don’t have the guts to tell my parents, I fell very lost, lost my will to stay alive, everyday is a struggle for me. My only companion is just my guitar (I still do my prayers ok, my faith is still very strong) and the song is the only thing that keep alive (wow..what a word) that the biggest event came, its like my head being shot, boom!!! Just like that. Suddenly everything stop, now I got my life back but there’s something that I had to give, scarifies is more appropriate to earn all I’ve got today. (Want to know what had happen maybe some other time, I got a journal to write and due date is tomorrow) So what I really want to tell you guys out there, is never to forgot your past, thinks life is a process of learning, every day that is happen count even it is just a little bit. This song for examples what can you understand from the lyrics (this is my understanding) for me anything that had happen in your life is the best that ever happen right, but what about the sad part do you just want to forget about it, yes I agree with the word we need to let it go, but for how long, we are just a normal human being, human can never run from making mistakes, it is written right? So I think I got carried away, before all of you get feed up reading this journal I better finished this up quick, do your prayers, rock your heart out, and stays cool. About the guitar chord that I mention before I still use the Word of Wisdom to teach others, so if anyone out there want me to teach your guys played the guitar and can stand with the Word of Wisdom please, contact me okay……………….Chow, as A Muslim ASSALAMUALAIKUM… (I LL BE BACK-Arnold S…….I don’t know how to spell it).

wet

Wet again i guest, no.. this is not nasty word
stop thinking nasty......why wet? emmm..surprise!!!
I went to a waterfall...hehe